It’s been a while since I last wrote, and as I’ve found no sufficient reason for this neglect, I can only allude to the many mundane activities that seem to fill my time so quickly. Not only do these activities fill my time, but mindless thoughts and worries concerning my well-being also seem to occupy most of my mental capacity. I’ve come to the realization that much of my life has been spent placing hope on temporary things. Often caught in the fixation of what my desires enveloped, I constructed pictures of how my life would look if “fulfilled”. Feeling empty once certain events, people, or opportunities came and went, I continued a cycle of disappointment. During the early stages of my time in Mississippi, many of the comforts and familiarities I once relied on were taken away. In a state of brokenness, I was compelled to completely rely on the Lord. Seeing my inadequacy and lack of strength, I began setting my hope in who the Lord is, rather than in who I am and what my life has to offer. In order to understand this issue of hope, it is important to understand and acknowledge the basic human desire for fulfillment. I’ve begun to see how greatly our desires and passions govern and define much of who we are. There is an expectation, a hope, that these aspects of our life will give meaning to our existence. We long for fulfillment. As we enter this earth empty handed, we grow and develop with the expectation of filling that emptiness. Once my personal emptiness became evident in my life, God’s grandeur became more and more evident. And that is why today I felt a heaviness in hoping in the Lord. Hope in its formal definition is to “cherish a desire with anticipation”. My only desire today is that my hope rests in the one who never fails.
Romans 5: 3-5
Romans 8: 24-25
Hebrews 10: 23
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